Now, if there were ever going to be an upside about what is happening to me, I thought it would be that I would be at home all over the summer and therefore able to enjoy the glorious summer weather, watch uninterrupted play at Wimbledon, potter about in the garden and generally live in Smugsville compared to the working population. Instead, I am sitting in our conservatory listening to the rain hammering down on the roof and seeing a completely white sky.....and if one more person says "Oh, the gardens need it", I will lamp them one (with my good arm).
I do find that the weather really affects my mood. If the sun shines, I am generally upbeat and happy. But if it's dull, overcast, damp or rainy, I am much more sombre and my spirits tend to plummet, especially if the weather is supposed to be doing something different. I really don't need anything to lower my mood at the moment, so the thought of enduring more of this weather is not filling me with optimism for the next week or so. However, I can't control the weather and nor can anyone else, so I shall just have to "man up".
So, what did we get up to over the weekend? I ended up having a busy Friday and Saturday, seeing lots of people both at home and in town. I am getting more relaxed - or at least less tense - about going out in public and have been out today on my own around the shops in town and once again, the only people who stared were older people. What is it that makes them think they can stare so obviously at someone? It's almost as if they think that, due to their age, they can behave in any way they like and no one will say anything to them because they're old - well, they may just find that there's at least one person who will say something! I can't believe they don't realise that it's difficult enough for someone like me to walk out in public and try to have ordinary social interactions while being aware that I look so different from the norm without being so obviously stared at. So all you staring old people out there - watch out, as you may be challenged....
Neil and I went for a walk yesterday morning as, for a change, it was a lovely sunny Sunday. We were out for about two hours, which was the longest exercise I have done since coming home from hospital and although we took it fairly slowly, it was still pretty tiring. I did some of my physio on a lovely woodland path, which made a pleasant change. Home and straight to bed for a rest and then a quiet and relaxing day, pottering around in the garden (two more patio pots done) and supervising/helping our son as he made a Father's Day dinner.
We are waiting to hear from Royal Marsden with dates for me to go and meet their MDT to discuss treatment and then several other appointments before radiotherapy actually starts. I want to be as fit as possible before starting the treatment, so tomorrow I hope to get back to the gym in the morning, where at least I can do my physio, get on the treadmill (still only a walk at this stage, rather than a run) and do some time on the exercise bike as long as I am careful with my shoulder. It will be good to do something which I used to do before all this happened and it means that Neil can get back to exercise too. We both miss it.
Apologies if this is a less than scintillating post - this dreadful weather is to blame for the lack of humour today. Hopefully normal service will be resumed soon :-)